Well, here we go again. Its been a long time since I've piped up on the drama-of-the-week, but I just couldn't resist getting in the ring on this one.
Kiss My Alas wrote a very well written post about her take on Big Bloggers effecting Small Bloggers. And, despite his recent departure from the world of blogging, Tamarind has taken it upon himself to respond at The Pink Pigtail Inn.
While it is not always comfortable to receive criticism, whether constructive or not, its something we all have to deal with. The internet is a public space, and as has been said before, even if you may be the most neutral of parties, eventually someone is going to disagree with you or dislike your blog.
Mama always told me that if you don't have anything nice to say then it is best to say nothing at all. However, nice is one of those arbitrary words that is entirely dependent upon perspective to have any meaning at all.
Discussion and argument are part of what makes blogging such an interesting passtime. The irony is that I have quite a neutral opinion myself. I think Tam makes very valid points. I think Alas makes very valid points as well. I don't think either of them is wholly "right." Disagreeing with someone is not necessarily being a dick. How you do it could be perceived as dickish behavior, but the simple act of disagreeing is not that. But as Tam has said, dickish behavior is highly subjective.
What troubles me about this whole argument is fear of linking and/or commenting. I like that sometimes Larisa and Tam and other big bloggers link to and comment at some more obscure but interesting blogs. It may be unfortunate that not every person that reads these bigger blogs is a "nice" person, but to blame any negative feedback that occurred after you were linked from a larger blog is to ignore the purpose of linking, which is to share readership and to promote discussion.
I think we all need to step up and take responsibility for our own spaces. Regardless of size, eventually a troll or someone who very vocally disagrees with you will happen upon your blog. If you don't like what is being said then you have a right as a blogger to moderate comments. No, you can't control what is said at other people's blogs about you/your blog, but you can choose to respond to it or ignore it.
I respect what Zel and Alas have said about different sensitivity levels. I agree that greater diversity makes for a better community. However a blog is not a private space (unless we make it so), and we all know that when we create our blogs. There are options to limit who can read what you write. It is a known risk we all take when we make our words open for the whole world to read. If you are not ready for that, then maybe it is time to reconsider your permission settings.
Basically, what I'm saying is that I don't want to live in fear of giving someone some link love, whether they have a large readership or not. And I for one don't want any of the larger blogs to not link to me if I happen to say something they want to talk about (regardless of whether they agree or disagree with me).
What kind of blogging community would it be if we couldn't have something as benign as Tuesdays with Tarinae at A Healadin's Tear? Oh wait, we can't have that anymore because she's gone too. /cry But I think you get my point.
I think that we should all be able to disagree with one another when we do, it's really more about how the disagreement is handled.
ReplyDeleteIf I disagree with someone I tell them why and list my reasons for why I think/feel the way I do. The wrong way to disagree with someone is to say they're a stupid poo-poo head for thinking the way they do.
That being said, Larísa was probably not the best example to use in Alas' post because the original post by Larísa can barely even be called disagreeing. What her readers then went and did I can't say because I obviously can't read Xeppe's blog.
I'm more amazed at the fact that people went and were nasty to Xeppe at all because Larísa's post wasn't even really disagreeing with her as it was giving another view on how to be prepared (or not being prepared).
Basically I think that Alas made some really good points, and that the sentiment of her post should not be disregarded simply because the example of Larísa was not the best.
I do think we should be able to disagree with one another - it's the manner in which we do so that matters.
Remembering if you have a big blog that your readers might turn rabid is of course something you should keep in mind - but a blog of a smaller thing should consider the same. We should all be held to the same standard, but we have to think of the numbers involved as well.
That being said, from Larísa's post there really was no way she could have foreseen that people would attack Xeppe (I know I couldn't have). There are other instances out there where people who write posts disagreeing with others are much more harsh and probably could foresee a certain level of.. unleashing the mob..
In any case, I hope this all dies down soon because it feels like everything is being taken out of proportion at this point - and old things that really should be left dead is being brought back up and beating on that poor ol' dead horse again.
Oh, I agree, Saga. It is all beating a dead horse. And I was a bit surprised to see the pot stirred again. I know it's terrible, but I love this drama. ^See blog title.
ReplyDeleteI guess I agree that people should consider the size of their blog before linking to others, especially if they are just going to call them a stupid poo-poo head. :)
On the other hand (even though I recently posted that I wouldn't like to be linked at WoW Insider) I do love me some link love. I guess I let the example of Larisa and Xeppe really get to me. I'm a firm believer in that there is no such thing as bad publicity. Even if I got a flood of nay-sayers, at least I'd possibly earn some new viewers. Then again, unlike Xeppe, I don't consider my blog to be so personal that I'd be devastated by those kinds of attacks.
I'm still really surprised that people were so nasty to Xeppe, since Larísa's post really was only barely disagreeing with her.
ReplyDeleteIf Larísa had actually said that Xeppe's post was stupid or pointless - then I could have understood it better, but the way I read Larísa's post it was more a comparison on how different players prepare (more prepared vs less prepared).
But I guess we can never quite know how people will react. And I'm definitely not arguing that people shouldn't disagree with each other (the world would be fairly boring if we all agreed!), but just that we can do so in a nice manner (which Larísa's original post was, I thought).
I guess really what we need isn't so much etiquette on how to disagree with each other on posts, but for people to learn how to comment nicely? Since it's not so much the other blogger disagreeing (I think?) but rather that their readers then for some strange reason become rabid dogs out for blood.
I know what you're talking about. I remember seeing it happen, and not just in the situations that have been brought up. But how can we as bloggers control what our readers are going to do? I guess the only thing we can do is try to make people aware of how devastating these attacks can be, but... ughh... I just hate for anyone to feel demonized or portrayed as a bully, because I think in *most* situations, we as bloggers are just trying to have a discussion. Its too bad trolls have to ruin it for the rest of us. :(
ReplyDeleteThe only thing bloggers can do is be responsible and not request that your readers go visit the person you disagree with and leave angry retorts. There was a tree blogger a short time ago who found another blogger who had stolen her guides. If ever someone would have been justified to rouse the troops (so to speak) and go hunt for blood, it would have been this. But this blogger was responsible, and while she wrote a very angry post on her own blog, she never identified the guilty blogger or did anything to send readers over to tear the person apart.
ReplyDeleteIn my eyes, that's the only mature, responsible option. I was very impressed by the restraint the tree blogger showed.
Hi Rades! Thanks for visiting my humble blog. I remember the tree blog you're talking about, and I agree, if there was ever a situation where the pitchforks would have been warranted, it was then. I've done similar things here when I've been upset about something someone else has blogged about. If I have to make an angry post to get my feelings out, I by no means out the person who got me angry by linking to them.
ReplyDeleteI think those of us talking here all agree on the basic social graces involved with blogging. The trouble is that not everyone views things in the same light. As much as I feel that my ethical guidelines for how I handle linking to other blogs are right, that doesn't mean they are right for everyone. That doesn't mean I am not going to accidentally hurt someone by linking to them. How can I know this in advance?
There is no way to know.
/troll
ReplyDeletestupid poo-poo head
/end troll
<3
Moreo is still reading this? /hugs
ReplyDeleteMiss you <3