Saturday, January 1, 2011

Starting Over All Over Again

I never seem to be satisfied with any of my toons anymore. Maybe that's why I'm an altoholic. Don't get me wrong, I love the game. The time I spend playing is a lot of fun to me. But when I look at my character selection screen I just can't decide. More often than not I press the "Create New Character" button. Is it wrong to just want to start all over fresh again and again?

Maybe it's a case of "your first love is your best love" and it'll never feel the same again. Maybe I'm searching for that feeling. I get it briefly when making a new toon and playing it for the first few levels, but the love quickly fades. Then what?

I think part of the disconnect is being guildless. If it weren't for a few people, I'd probably have switched realms again a long time ago. More and more, when I log on my toons on Cairne I feel as though I'm only going through the motions. More and more, I just want to de-clutter and delete all of my high level toons.

I'm not really going to do anything dramatic like that. I know I'd probably regret it. But the urge is there.

I've been through this before. I've server hopped before. I ended up coming back to Cairne. What makes this time different?

Maybe its the feeling that I just don't care about end-game at all anymore... Viva would have been 85 a long time ago, if I wanted her to be. I've been deliberately avoiding playing her because I'm afraid of hitting the dreaded level-cap. How backwards is that?

What is even more frightening to me is the feeling that I'm becoming more and more of a soloist. I love people. I like to socialize. But when I'm questing I'd rather go it alone, that way I won't feel guilty wandering off of the beaten path to mine or do some archaeology or just smell the roses. It feels as though everyone is always just rushing to hit the next level, and Blizzard has rewarded this behavior by making everything give Exp. Sometimes I just want to turn Exp gains off.

I want a guild to socialize in, but that's about all I want it for. I'm turning into Gevlon's M&S, I suppose. Is that wrong? Does that somehow make me bad? Gevlon would say it is and it does.

My partner in crime would ask me to join his guild, but how much in common will I have with a group of people that are focused on end-game? Not much, I don't think. Honestly, I think I probably have very little in common with the majority of people who play WoW altogether. Considering that I'm such an unusual person, I have no idea how to find a guild of like-minded people. All guilds seem to eventually end up focusing on end-game or disbanding.

Anyone else feeling like I'm feeling?


  1. Yes, yes, 100 times yes. Mind you, I've been here for a fair while (since early summer to be exact). I'd hoped that Cata would invigorate me and make me think 'yeah, let's get back to gaming proper' (by which I mean raiding). I even re-rolled a character on my 'old' PvE server, and had her invited into my old raiding guild, on the basis that I might feel 'at home' again and re-gain my desire to raid. No cigar baby.

    I (shamingly) run 2 accounts *blush* and they're getting full of very low level alts. In fairness, I think this is where I've gotten to with WoW. I know that raiding is REALLY bad for me, I don't have the temperament somehow, and since Dungeon Finder hit, I think I should have 'does not play well with others' tattooed on my forehead. I have deleted max level characters before, but have always gotten them back (I don't recommend this btw - I end up having to grovel to GMs) as I put a lot of effort into them.

    I'm quite happy with my super-casual status though. I don't want WoW to go back to feeling like a 'job' and the way to avoid that is... not to have a max level character. My highest is level 82... And I suspect she'll stay that way for a while. I'm currently flicking between a troll druid, a goblin warlock and my most recent acquisition - a dorf rogue. They'll keep me occupied for a while!

    I hope that you find your fun somewhere sweetie, whatever form that takes!

  2. Yes you and I sound pretty much alike. There is only one thing that interests me at endgame at that is raiding. And that is just because I like the challenge of healing difficult content. I don't care enough for it to ever start my own raids or get upset if a raid is cancelled. I basically only log on to my main to do raids. I love leveling new alts. Whenever I max one out I start a new one. And I love leveling them alone. I don't mind playing on a server where I don't know anyone, I actually somehow prefer having to start from scratch. I don't mind not having BoA gear or no money, I actually like it. On the other hand that also usually means that I'm not much interested in joining guilds for the social bit either. I'm just not very social when playing WoW ^^

  3. felt his a long timeso i swooped a server.. but helped so im pvp not bothering about
    engame pve:) do soting ypu like todo^^

  4. I think it's a fair way to feel, and maybe - as you say - you need a guild. Not to raid (unless you suddenly want to) but rather for the social interactions and friendships.

    I know that for me I'd not be nearly as interested in playing if I wasn't in a guild. I like having a place where I can chat with others, or even ask for help with achievements or if I want to do a dungeon.

    Sure, I'm also a raider - but I wouldn't have to be.

    Maybe you could try looking for a guild that offer what you want? I know on my realm we have purely social guilds, and I'm sure yours have too. There are also guilds - I imagine - like mine who have a bunch of raiders, but also invite social members who have no raiding requirement but are welcome to join raids, dungeons when and if they wish. Or just be entirely social.

    To me not having a guild is a bit like not having a home, and I'd feel a bit disconnected from the game and characters.

    Let's hope you can get your WoW Mojo back :)

  5. Thanks, everyone, for commenting. Wow! Everyone's advice has been so good!

    I don't think I've really lost the fun or my WoW Mojo. Hehe. I still love the game and I love playing. Perhaps I didn't make that clear in my post.

    I think, ultimately, the issue is a social one, and I think its high time I tried to find a social guild. I'm just terrified of liking a guild and it going sour. I think that may be part of the reason I'm in this predicament in the first place. My last guild was so wonderful until it went horrible wrong, and I just don't know if I can take that heartache again.

    Only one thing I can do. As my Mom says, "You gotta get back up on that horse right away." I've waited too long.